Hi Everyone...Been awhile since I've updated but I have a challenge for the New Year....12 days of Giving in 2012....see...12 days...2012...
Dennis and I volunteered at the Hope Lodge a week before Christmas. We provided the ham and a craft. They were so excited for us to be there...(been awhile since someone was that excited about us showing up anywhere)...gracious was one word that comes to mind. They were very gracious and thanking us the whole time we were there. And it didn't seem like we did that much.
The guests provided all the side dishes and we provided the meat. I put together Christmas ornaments for them to make and they loved it. Even got some of the guys to make some. Dennis suggested that maybe next time get some of the guys to play cards or something while we gals make crafts (not that he's being biased or anything).
NOW...here is the big gift I would love from my family and friends. I have the greatest family & friends (buttering you up!)
12 days of Giving! That doesn't mean all in the same month but in the year. Really...only 12 days is not that much...not even 2 weeks of your time. These dates will be during the week (that is when most of the guests are at the Lodge)
I would love all my family and friends to help (I see bonding happening)... help those who have gone thru the same thing I did (some of them even more extensive). I didn't ask for help back then but I'm asking for help now!
I would like to give that 12 days of Giving to Hope Lodge. I plan on one day a month going to provide a meal (even if its parts of a meal) and a game and/or craft. ITS ONE DAY.
You can help in a variety of ways...giving of time, craft/cleaning/cooking items, food or money...OR all of them.
Dennis and I have already thought of various themes for each month that we're hoping we can do....and maybe you can think of something fun for each month. Here are some of our ideas...Halfway to Thanksgiving in May...Opening Day at the K (Royals baseball stadium) in April...Souperbowl party....
Again..helping us to help them....even if you can only do one day this year....its helping someone!
Here is the link to the Hope Lodge. http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/SupportProgramsServices/HopeLodge/KansasCity/index
If you're not in the Kansas City area...please go to a Hope Lodge in your area and help them!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Treatments
Sorry this won't be about what fabo spa treatments are out there. What mud works the best for those wrinkles...what scrub gets rid of cellulite...These will be dealing with what one is going thru during radiation.
My treatments were over 30. 15 minutes Monday thru Friday. Doesn't seem like long but let me tell ya...laying there for that amount of time...you THINK alot about what is going on in your life, around you and in your head (yes, there is activity in there).
My journey on this new adventure first started with a trip to the Radiation Oncologist. This poor guy first got a dose of what I was about when bringing my husband...mom...daughter and friends sometimes along for appointments. Don't think he knew what hit him...we laughed alot...WHICH is a great thing during this time.
My procedure was pretty simple...FIRST...tattoos!!! woo hoo..thinking little hearts...stars...butterflies...NOPE...dots...DOTS...all I got was dots....4 simple dots that the machines would use to line up with.
Next...scans...again lining up various parts of the body to zone in on the area of invasion...NOW...I don't think this many people have seen this much of my lower region since I was pregnant....
Now to start the treatments...you go into a room with this HUGE machine...drop your pants...(the last time someone asked me that I slapped them...or did I marry them?)...lay on the table and hold this donut (a blue ring which helps you keep your arms still).
Then the table is raised up about 6 to 8 ft....I kinda of wanted to hear the opening music to an Elvis concert...(That would have been so cool!!!). Then it starts the machine up....and arms and variety of parts moving around you and you hear the BEEP...that is the radiation being aimed at the parts of invasion.
My radiation techs were WONDERFUL...I even took them in some cheese (hubby works for a cheese company). They said I was a great patient...NO COMPLAINING (hear that mother). Saw my dr once a week.
The first few weeks were fine...didn't have any of the symptoms that everyone talks about...then BAM...diarrhea...HIPS killing me and then hair loss...slight mullet. Then slowly the skin burning. I got advice from everywhere on how to handle all of this. (WHICH I can't thank everyone enough for and if I haven't...THANK YOU!)
The last two weeks were the hardest...by this time my energy level was nowhere to be found and my thought process was terrible (more blond moments then a hairdresser could shake a color wand at). Hurt when the radiation was aimed...like being under a magnifying glass (now I know how those ants feel)
Now here I am almost 3 months out...hips still hurt (seeing dr on that one) and some other slight issues. I get to see doctors every 3 months for awhile...then every six months then every year. For someone who really didn't want drama..to me this is drama.
BUT today I was walking outside and the weather is gorgeous..55 degrees on a crisp fall morning (MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR, why I got married in Oct)....leaves are starting to change and so have I....Remembering past times with my grandparents (who both loved fishing). My grandfather who passed away several years ago loved fishing and for some reason I can remember him one time with weather like this stating "Makes you feel glad to be alive".
Isn't that a wonderful statement!! That it is worth being alive to just take that deep breath in... and enjoy life and what it brings. Take time to really appreciate those around me....reminding them to breath in deep...ENJOY life's treatments!
My treatments were over 30. 15 minutes Monday thru Friday. Doesn't seem like long but let me tell ya...laying there for that amount of time...you THINK alot about what is going on in your life, around you and in your head (yes, there is activity in there).
My journey on this new adventure first started with a trip to the Radiation Oncologist. This poor guy first got a dose of what I was about when bringing my husband...mom...daughter and friends sometimes along for appointments. Don't think he knew what hit him...we laughed alot...WHICH is a great thing during this time.
My procedure was pretty simple...FIRST...tattoos!!! woo hoo..thinking little hearts...stars...butterflies...NOPE...dots...DOTS...all I got was dots....4 simple dots that the machines would use to line up with.
Next...scans...again lining up various parts of the body to zone in on the area of invasion...NOW...I don't think this many people have seen this much of my lower region since I was pregnant....
Now to start the treatments...you go into a room with this HUGE machine...drop your pants...(the last time someone asked me that I slapped them...or did I marry them?)...lay on the table and hold this donut (a blue ring which helps you keep your arms still).
Then the table is raised up about 6 to 8 ft....I kinda of wanted to hear the opening music to an Elvis concert...(That would have been so cool!!!). Then it starts the machine up....and arms and variety of parts moving around you and you hear the BEEP...that is the radiation being aimed at the parts of invasion.
My radiation techs were WONDERFUL...I even took them in some cheese (hubby works for a cheese company). They said I was a great patient...NO COMPLAINING (hear that mother). Saw my dr once a week.
The first few weeks were fine...didn't have any of the symptoms that everyone talks about...then BAM...diarrhea...HIPS killing me and then hair loss...slight mullet. Then slowly the skin burning. I got advice from everywhere on how to handle all of this. (WHICH I can't thank everyone enough for and if I haven't...THANK YOU!)
The last two weeks were the hardest...by this time my energy level was nowhere to be found and my thought process was terrible (more blond moments then a hairdresser could shake a color wand at). Hurt when the radiation was aimed...like being under a magnifying glass (now I know how those ants feel)
Now here I am almost 3 months out...hips still hurt (seeing dr on that one) and some other slight issues. I get to see doctors every 3 months for awhile...then every six months then every year. For someone who really didn't want drama..to me this is drama.
BUT today I was walking outside and the weather is gorgeous..55 degrees on a crisp fall morning (MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR, why I got married in Oct)....leaves are starting to change and so have I....Remembering past times with my grandparents (who both loved fishing). My grandfather who passed away several years ago loved fishing and for some reason I can remember him one time with weather like this stating "Makes you feel glad to be alive".
Isn't that a wonderful statement!! That it is worth being alive to just take that deep breath in... and enjoy life and what it brings. Take time to really appreciate those around me....reminding them to breath in deep...ENJOY life's treatments!
Friday, August 12, 2011
"Normal"
"You look ok......you look Normal"
I hear it all the time....I look normal...I still have my hair (well the hair you can see)...so therefore I must be ok. Even harder because I don't look like the typical "Normal" cancer victim. Do I feel normal, nope..does my body feel normal...nope...are my thoughts normal..nope (well some would say always!!).
Almost 4 weeks have passed since my last treatment (treatments, sounds like a spa I went to) some things are back to "normal". I can eat most things now (yes i gained some weight back...maybe some side affects of cancer I could tolerate...WEIGHT LOSS).. my energy level still isn't the same and my body still hurts where it didnt' hurt before. I walk like an ol' woman.....If I sit too long my hips ache...I know...I know...Whine...Bitch....Moan...
Now I have several friends who keep telling me "you're getting old"..."its your age"...granted I might have aged because of the cancer stuff going on but come on..not this much. If so...I will stay 40 forever young. (40 is the new 20 right?)
"Normal" I wonder if I ever will be normal...NOPE...probably not (again several of you saying...SHE never was). I will never be the person I was back in March before I found out I had cancer. My thoughts are different, everything is different now...how I view myself, my family and friends.... my life has changed PERIOD.
Finally I told... well yelled (see some normal left) at my husband partway thru this journey..."I am hurting"......"I'm in pain"..."I need help". Now those are words that I don't speak out loud that much. Heck last time I spoke..well yelled them was when I was in labor probably (with my son..right Wizzy)... Ladies we all know how truthful those words are.
I'm still married (we're still newlyweds) and yes... this does make your marriage show really what it is...that you have to work at being together and staying sane (again friends...yes I think I was sane at one time). There has been some struggles. Walking thru while one of you is being taken care of and the other person becoming the caretaker. My Mom (God Bless Her) came out to stay with me. If it hadn't been for her, Dennis really would have had more struggles. My mom stepped up and really helped...that right there is family and a woman worthy of the name "MOM" (sounded kinda of like a Hallmark moment...everyone say AWE).
"Normal" for me is going to Doctor appointments every 3 months for a year. Part of those months will be to three different doctors. Then after a year has gone it will be every 6 months with two different doctors for four years. Then yearly for the rest of my normal life...well what normal is now.
"Normal" right now is trying to get myself halfway back to where I was six months ago. Seeing what friends still want to be around with someone who has the word "CANCER" tattooed on her. (I actually do have 4 tattoos right now..sorry nothing fun..just the little black dots for radiation).
"Normal" is knowing that death is alot closer than you realize. Normal is being in pain and no one really knowing how bad it is. Normal is looking at your kids who are wanting to be adults and the part of you wanting them close because you don't know how long you really have. Normal is dealing with the fact you still have your everyday life to live. Normal is wanting more because you want the best of what is left of your "Normal" life.
So now I have started my "Life after Normal".
I hear it all the time....I look normal...I still have my hair (well the hair you can see)...so therefore I must be ok. Even harder because I don't look like the typical "Normal" cancer victim. Do I feel normal, nope..does my body feel normal...nope...are my thoughts normal..nope (well some would say always!!).
Almost 4 weeks have passed since my last treatment (treatments, sounds like a spa I went to) some things are back to "normal". I can eat most things now (yes i gained some weight back...maybe some side affects of cancer I could tolerate...WEIGHT LOSS).. my energy level still isn't the same and my body still hurts where it didnt' hurt before. I walk like an ol' woman.....If I sit too long my hips ache...I know...I know...Whine...Bitch....Moan...
Now I have several friends who keep telling me "you're getting old"..."its your age"...granted I might have aged because of the cancer stuff going on but come on..not this much. If so...I will stay 40 forever young. (40 is the new 20 right?)
"Normal" I wonder if I ever will be normal...NOPE...probably not (again several of you saying...SHE never was). I will never be the person I was back in March before I found out I had cancer. My thoughts are different, everything is different now...how I view myself, my family and friends.... my life has changed PERIOD.
Finally I told... well yelled (see some normal left) at my husband partway thru this journey..."I am hurting"......"I'm in pain"..."I need help". Now those are words that I don't speak out loud that much. Heck last time I spoke..well yelled them was when I was in labor probably (with my son..right Wizzy)... Ladies we all know how truthful those words are.
I'm still married (we're still newlyweds) and yes... this does make your marriage show really what it is...that you have to work at being together and staying sane (again friends...yes I think I was sane at one time). There has been some struggles. Walking thru while one of you is being taken care of and the other person becoming the caretaker. My Mom (God Bless Her) came out to stay with me. If it hadn't been for her, Dennis really would have had more struggles. My mom stepped up and really helped...that right there is family and a woman worthy of the name "MOM" (sounded kinda of like a Hallmark moment...everyone say AWE).
"Normal" for me is going to Doctor appointments every 3 months for a year. Part of those months will be to three different doctors. Then after a year has gone it will be every 6 months with two different doctors for four years. Then yearly for the rest of my normal life...well what normal is now.
"Normal" right now is trying to get myself halfway back to where I was six months ago. Seeing what friends still want to be around with someone who has the word "CANCER" tattooed on her. (I actually do have 4 tattoos right now..sorry nothing fun..just the little black dots for radiation).
"Normal" is knowing that death is alot closer than you realize. Normal is being in pain and no one really knowing how bad it is. Normal is looking at your kids who are wanting to be adults and the part of you wanting them close because you don't know how long you really have. Normal is dealing with the fact you still have your everyday life to live. Normal is wanting more because you want the best of what is left of your "Normal" life.
So now I have started my "Life after Normal".
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