The first of many stages in my life that start in always an interesting way. A few weeks ago when someone asked where I was in life..it would be excited to see both of my children graduating from College & High School...but now I get to go thru something I never thought would enter my world, Stage 1A2...what stage I am for cancer..use to say someday I wanted to be a stage but that wasn't quite what I meant.
I really only wanted to deal with the empty nest..which I am quite ready for...granted part of me is sad I won't see them everyday, hear about their lives and evidently become just a small part of it. But the other part was excited to see what this new stage would bring.
Yesterday my daughter graduated from UMKC!! Degree in English and with honors. It was a great day for her and for me as a parent of a daughter who does bring me such joy and laughter! I still can't believe I am old enough to have a daughter who is 22! A new stage for her and an exit for me. She no longer needs me as much and I don't want her to, she's a very smart woman and even funnier one! Heck I taught her all there is about wine, she can't be all bad.
The next upcoming stage is my son graduating from high school...18 and ready for the world. He is definitely ready for high school to be done. That boy knows no fear, never has. Likes to try new things and can fix almost anything with an engine (tells me he likes the challenge). I can't tell you how many beaters (trucks) that have crossed our driveway. Unlike my daughter who has ventured out on her own, my son has figured out he doesn't like paying rent and hopes to live with us for awhile....another story on that later.
I know we all walk thru stages in our life,but now some have different slants for me. Seeing my daughter Elizabeth walking across that stage enrobed in her cap and gown with the medal she received for being cum laude around her neck. Then standing there and seeing that diploma placed in her hands which gives her the keys to learn and see more of the world. Your heart just leaps to know that you have helped create a woman who will walk thru life determined to get what she wants and achieve what her heart wants. It really makes this mother very proud of what my daughter has achieved and even more excited to see the future unfold for her. And my son, Elijah towering over my 5'2" frame bending down to give me a hug before leaving or saying I love you before going to bed (yes, he'll probably kill me for saying that) warms my heart. Seeing him trying to figure out which road to take for his future...and praying he makes the right one but knowing its ok that there is turns in that road. In all of this, I know I have done my best for them. And still would give my last breath for them to make it in this world and be what they have been called to be.
Now back to the stage on what I stand right now...Stage 1A2..better than stage 4 of which I am grateful...I'm still in shock at time on the variety of stages that I have been thru since finding my cancer ...called and being told I have a few cancer cells and need to see a specialist...next...going in for surgery to have my cervix removed and then called again (starting to hate calls late in the day) told you need radiation (of which I start the beginning process on Wednesday). Now center stage...dealing with that fact that I had an actual tumor and now praying it hasn't spread....makes me want to yell....EXIT STAGE LEFT!!!
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